Sunday, November 1, 2009

Celebrity Moms

Top Ten Ways Motherhood Makes You a Celebrity

1. Someone's always hounding you for your autograph. Even if it's just on a permission slip for the class trip.
2. You travel with an entourage. Okay, so two of them are fighting over a bag of Doritos and one of them has a crusty nose, but STILL.
3. You spend your days club-hopping. How else would your kids get to Brownies?
4. You're front and center at every awards show. Because your 10-year-old would never forgive you for being absent from awards chapel.
5. You change clothes three times a day. And it's much more fun if you pretend it's because you're being stalked by the paparazzi, not a messy toddler.
6. You're on a spa diet. Your kids only leave broccoli on their plates for you.
7. You've flashed your boobs in public. Hey, it's not easy to juggle a hungry baby in one hand and unhook a nursing bra with the other!
8. People beg to sleep with you. Well, only because there's a monster under their bed.
9. You're covered in tattoos that your kid got in a birthday party goody bag and plastered on you when you were too pooped to resist.
10. Hassled as you feel right now, in 20 years you'll miss all the chaos.
Are you feeling like a celebrity yet?


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